Liar / Tendril

So I’ve started lying more to my girlfriend, not because I’m trying to get away with anything or I’m hiding something from her, but mainly because I talk to her on the phone probably five times a day.

Five times a day! Whose life is so exciting that updates are needed every 5 hours?

Like there’s anyone who’s, “Hello. Hey what’s up? I’m parasailing. No, from a helicopter, why? Yeah, like 5 hours ago but that wasn’t my monkey. Listen I gotta go. I can’t say – CIA remember? Switzerland. Stolen Diamonds. Chinese star. I’ll call you later.”

And every time she calls, first things she wants to know is what I’m doing.
“Hey, What’s up?” “ Whatcha doing?” “ Whatcha up to?” Which is fine. But when she calls me five times a day - I only do about two or three things.

Not a very big repertoire.

There’s only so many times I can say, “Lying on the couch.” “I’m eating Chinese Food.”

So I started telling these little pitiful lies about what I’m doing.

I’ll be lying on the couch but I tell her I’m sitting in the kitchen.

Subtle, yet crucial.

Because now if you were to ask her, she’s fully aware I enjoy lying on the couch and eating Chinese food, but she’s also under the impression that I occasionally sit in the kitchen and eat Caesar salads.

Little does she know that life is a fantasy.