Eight out of 18 / Moat

Assignment: write a concise six chapter story using eight of the eighteen concepts/objects listed below.

noodle salad
harpoon gun
ceiling tiles
children
helicopter
wholly mammoth
confetti
trigonometry
staple remover
physical fitness
hymnal
thanksgiving
rocket ladders
aerodynamics
squid
vanity
blue plate special
bank robbery

Chapter 1:

Jogging around the park I notice a helicopter hovering over the glitter and confetti factory. Without hesitation I remove my harpoon gun from my harpoon holster and fire a harpoon at that bar at the bottom of the helicopter that heroes in action movies dangle from. Unfortunately I failed to tie any sort of rope to the harpoon so while it hits its mark, it really doesn't do me any good as the helicopter continued to hoover, only now it has a harpoon sticking from its skids.

Chapter 2:

"Hmmm. Time for plan B" I say to myself as I pour the remains of my water bottle over my head and slick my hair back. Sure I look good, but looking good without a plan of attack is like serving butter but forgetting the bread. After about 60 push ups the ideas really start flying and soon enough I've constructed a crude ladder out of various twigs, sticks, branches, and a rocket booster that allows it to fly, thus making the prototypical purpose of the ladder pointless.

Chapter 3:

I mount my rocket ladder and shoot towards the helicopter and breakneck speed, jumping from the ladder at the last moment and grabbing onto my harpoon still sticking in the skid. The ladder passes through the helicopter blades creating thousands of mini rocket ladders that squirrels will undoubtedly find quite useful as they rain down into the park.

Chapter 4:

I do 12 pull-ups before hoisting myself into the copter and screaming my motto over the sound of the chopping blades.

"Did somebody order the blue plate special?"

I toss out the wrapper of the Power Bar I just ate and watch the wind whip it out of site before I make my way toward the cockpit.

Chapter 5:

After a brief and pointed introduction I commence wrestling the controls from the pilot. As I do so lights start blinking, alerts start beeping, and the pilot starts screaming - all indications of our rapid decent toward the glitter and confetti factory below.
"All's well that ends well" says the pilot.
"Pretty weak choice for last words if you ask me" I retort.

Chapter 6:

We crash into the factory, creating a glorious explosion of glitter and confetti that delights each and every child in a 3 mile radius. As we regain consciousness, wiping the glitter from our faces and shaking the confetti from our ears the pilot grabs my hand and speaks in a weak and broken voice.

"What the fuck were you doing jogging with a harpoon gun?"

"Anything for the kids" I reply.