The Breck envelopes / Davenport

There's not much to do in Breckenridge, Colorado during the summer - of course I didn't know that at the time. I needed to find a job in between my senior and super-senior year of college and I was hankering for one of those "find yourself" type of experiences. A buddy of mine had some connections in Breckenridge and said he could hook me up with a job. I'd never been to Colorado before. Sounded like just the thing. I assumed I'd spend my days mountain biking and climbing various breath-taking peaks overlooking awe-inspiring valleys and my nights perusing for like-minded, free-spirited gals looking to have casual sex and sleep in the nude as I looked out the window at the mountains, smoked cigarettes, and wrote in my journal. You know, basic self-discovery type of stuff.

The job was working the night shift, manning the front desk of a hotel, 11 to 8, six days a week. When your job requires you to stay up all night it's tough to muster the energy to discover yourself during the day, let alone go mountain climbing. Mountain biking proved difficult as well seeing as I didn't own and couldn't afford a bike. I quickly learned that people come to Breck to ski and leave with the snow. The summer months are dedicated to road repair and hosting corporate sponsored golf tournaments. Half the town's shops and restuarants didn't even bother to open. There were no girls.

If there were going to be any adventures I was going to have to concoct them myself.

So it came to pass that I devised a scheme that, if executed correctly, would allow me the opportunity to meet new people and have some laughs in the process. It wasn't exactly white water rafting or three way action but it was the best I could come up with living in a ghost town in a perpetual sleep deprived state.

The basic idea was as follows:

-Put a $5 bill inside an envelope and tape the envelope underneath a pay phone.

-Call that pay phone.

-When someone answers tell them that if they reach under the pay phone they will find an envelope. Tell them to open that envelope.

-Tell them the contents of the envelope is their's to keep and if they'd like more of the same, come back to the same pay phone tomorrow at the same time and wait for the phone to ring for further instructions.

-Call the pay phone again the next day.

The idea pretty much petered out there. I didn't have an end goal of what I was trying to accomplish or what I would have told them to do. I guess the main objective was just to get strangers to hang out near pay phones waiting for my calls. If it had ever worked I suppose I would have come up with something to say. Maybe tell them to go to the grocery store, buy a loaf of bread and throw it in the river. Regardless, the plan never worked. I got as far as putting the envelopes underneath the pay phones but when I called the pay phones I either got a "no longer in service message" or it would ring and ring and ring without anyone ever picking up.

Fast forward to the last weekend of the summer. My buddy who had hooked me up with the job came to visit. I took the night off so we could get drunk. Several hours later the bars are closed and we're wondering the empty streets, looking for something to eat. We end up at the only place open, the local grocery store. We grab a couple of frozen pizzas but realize our wallets are empty after the cashier rings us up. Of course the store's credit card machine is down and the banks are closed. Our prospects are dim. Then I remembered. . .

"Follow me."

I proceeded to hit up phone booth after phone booth, pulling an envelope with $5 from under each one. To say that my drinking buddy was impressed would be an understatement.

"What the hell is going on? Who's money is that? What kind of operation have you got yourself into?"

"You don't want to know. Let's just say that it's been a crazy summer."

To this day he thinks I'm a lot cooler than I really am.