Jury duty / Magenta

I recently and reluctantly performed my civic duty of offering my services to serve on a jury.

It’s mostly just a lot of waiting around.

When you get there they sit you down in this big room along with all the other people who aren’t smart enough to figure a way out of jury duty. For the first hour or so they attempt to weed out all the people who don’t have the intellectual capacity to serve on a jury by making announcements such as:

"Attention Jurors! Please pull out your jury summons. In the bottom right corner it should say 'jury summons'. I repeat, in the bottom right corner it should say 'jury summons'. If it does not, you do not have a jury summons. Please report to room 156 on the lower level."

About 35 people got up and left. People who evidently mistook their phone bill or recipe for banana nut bread for a jury summons.

Then came the next announcement.

"Attention Jurors! In the bottom left hand corner of your jury summons there should be a box labeled 'date of service'. I repeat, in the bottom left hand corner of your jury summons there should be a box labeled 'date of service'. That box should contain today’s date. 12/19/08. If it does not, please report to room 156 on the lower level."

At least another dozen people exited the room. Folks who must've thought the date was the dollar figure they stood to win by showing up, or perhaps they thought they were redeeming a lottery ticket. All I know is whoever is in charge of room 156 on the lower level has their hands full. I can just imagine. “O.K. people let’s try to keep a nice straight line here. Excuse me sir, please get up off the floor. We’re going to need you to put you’re pants back on. Mame, please don’t eat your jury summons.”

Anyway, after these people left you’d think you’d be left with a room full of marginally intelligent people. Not the case. And here’s how I know.

If you were to tell you that you have jury duty starting tomorrow, what would you bring?

I brought me a book. I brought my cell phone. I picked up a newspaper. These people brought nothing. When the actual waiting began, a quick scan of the room revealed a sea of faces all with the same blank facial expression, simply staring at the back of the head of the person sitting in front of them.

Saddest thing I’ve ever seen. C’mon people! Fuckin’ grab a magazine, take a nap, balance your checkbook, take a swing at somebody. Anything. Sure it’s jury duty – it sucks – but is there nothing to live for? The situation must spark some sort of emotion. Nothing. Just empty stares. Just waiting for their names to be called. . . or to die. Whichever happens first.