Officer Clem, pure of heart / Lynchpin

It's a good job.

One not without its challenges

I've been a security officer at 1166 sixth avenue going on 16 years now. On the surface I suppose there's not much to it. Can't say I've ever come across a bonafide job description but if one were in need of drafting I suppose it wouldn't differ much from this:

Security Officer

responsibilities include:

-monitoring the immediate vicinity surrounding 1166 along with the neighboring 50 foot radius for suspicious activity

-keeping smokers within the designated smoking area

-standing

-smiling politely

Truth is there's never been much in terms of suspicious activity to report. I've only had to pull out my walkie-talkie on two occasions and only used it once. Crazy fella once attempted to urinate on the side of the building but thanks to some quick intervening on my part the authorities arrived in the nick of time. That was 10 years ago. Things have been pretty quiet since then.

Sure there's the occasional smoker who wonders into the courtyard and doesn't appreciate my reminder to step back into the predesignated area. I get sneers, scoffs, and subtle hand gestures. Even got spit at once. Yeah those smokers can be a rude bunch. But overall the biggest challenge is finding ways to pass the time.

Most of the rest of the guys fill the void by gawking at the pretty ladies strolling by, and Lord knows they like to stroll by, but not me.

No sir.

I made a promise to the Lord Jesus long ago that I wouldn't stare at the pretty ladies. There was a day not too long ago when I was like the others. There was a day when if you were to ask me to draft a job description it would differ from the one I mentioned before.

It would have looked something like this:

Security Officer

responsibilities include:

-monitoring the immediate vicinity surrounding 1166 along with the neighboring 50 foot radius for suspicious activity

-keeping smokers within the designated smoking area

-standing

-smiling politely
-staring at the all pretty ladies

You catch the difference?

It was the last one there. Staring at the pretty ladies. Yeah that used to be my specialty. Nothing made an 11 hour day of standing in the same 5 foot space of sidewalk fly by than taking in an eyeful of the breathtaking females that swung their hips as they sauntered on by. Heck, the 10 seconds it took for a woman in a low cut top to pass could occupy the mind from 9:30 to noon. A tight sweater with a brief glimpse of flesh along the small of the back as they bend to tie their shoe could get me through the whole week.

And don't get me started on ladies in suits wearing glasses with their hair pulled back. 

My goodness gracious.

But I've changed my heart. With the help of Jesus I let the pretty ladies walk on by with their bosoms and bottoms below my line of vision. The key is to focus on their eyes. Look them in their peepers, smile, nod, and look away. Don't let the devil allow the eyes drift south to drink it up.

Today I fill the holes of the day by watching the pigeons or reading the menu of the falafel stand on the corner.  Sometimes I count the windows of the building.  It's 35 floors so that can kill some time.  Sometimes I count the number of smoke breaks Frida Lundkin takes.  Her record is 13.  Other times I have a contest to see how many black cars drive by compared to blue ones. 

Or white ones. 

Or taxis.  

All while keeping an eye out for suspicious activity of course.

The days do seem longer though.