My 300th friend / Barb

299 friends on facebook
looking to add one more
click on "People You May Know"
to see what I have in store

There's Jennifer Savage-Roberts
I knew her as Jenny Savage
she was smokin' hot in highschool
but 3 kids and 50 pounds did damage

Michael Chevronoski
my best friend from 2nd grade
but his profile pic concerns me
he's wielding a switchblade

Some girl named Susan Tiller
we have 19 mutual friends
I've tried to add her fifty times
she ignores me time and again

I see a guy I used to work with
name is Phillip Stanahoustick
but browsing through his photos
I remember he's a prick

There's Kathy from accounting
we've maybe spoken twice
each time was utter torture
but man her ass is nice

What about Felix Cornwall Higgins
some guy I met once on a plane
he's poked me three times this month
but I'm fairly certain he's insane

Profile after profile
I start to see a trend
no matter how you slice it
I don't have 300 friends