Screws like a leaf blower / Harpsicord

Trying to lose a few lbs. So to help me out I started using this website where you can enter in whatever food you eat and whatever exercise you do and it counts the calories you took in as well as what you burned off. They got this long list of possible exercises to choose from including things like bocce ball, square dancing, vacuuming, etc. Three different kinds of horseback riding. Horseback riding – trot, horseback riding – standard, horseback riding – gallop.
It's exhaustive.
Then at the very bottom, as if an afterthought, the site lists sexual activity light and sexual activity vigorous.

I didn’t think too much more of it until a few days later when I’m sitting in front of the computer needing to log-in some sexual activity exercise. All the sudden I find myself in the awkward position of having to evaluate my recent performance.
Was what just went down sexual activity light or sexual activity vigorous? Judging by the fact that my wife had already managed to recover and was now working on a Suduko puzzle I was able to rule out vigorous but I'll be damned if I was about to characterize that whole production as 'light'. I’d say it was moderate to say the least. I’d even go so far to say it was extra moderate. In fact that would classify sex with me perfectly. Extra moderate.

But in the end I’m a fair guy so I ended up logging in four minutes of light and the website tells me I just burned 17 calories. That seemed pretty low so, as an experiment, I chose some other exercises to compare. It turns out that 4 minutes of sexual activity light is equivalent to 18 minutes of leaf blower use.

Sorta gives you a nice little gauge.

So next time you find yourself using a leaf blower, make a point stop after 10 minutes and take stock on how you feel.
You winded?
Throat a little parched?
I bet you could go for a nice tall glass of cool lemonade.
Well you’ve still got 8 more minutes worth of leaves to blow before you can say you’ve put in the work equal to a night of passion with yours truly.