The $6.49 mystery across from Lube / Cyborg

Dude. Check out this shit. So I'm at Lube the other night with Brad, Treshman, and the Dave's. We've got a reserved table with bottle service and DJ Rhombus is spinning and the girls are smoking we're like totally fucked up.

At one point I run out of smokes so I step out and head to the bodega across the street. I buy a pack of p-funks for $6.49 and pay with a 10 spot and the dude behind the counter gives me back change for a twenty - a 10, three 1s, 2 quarters, and a penny. I don't even notice until I'm showing my hand stamp to get back in the club and think, "what the hell". So I go back into the store and buy another pack and the same shit happens. No joke! Dude gives me back a 10, three 1s, 2 quarters, and a penny. At this point I'm thinking, "no way, this guy must be fucked up or something", so I go back into Lube and grab Brad, Treshman, and the Dave's and tell them the story. They think I'm full of shit so I say, "I'll prove it to you fuckers", and we all leave the club and head to the bodega. Each of them buy a pack of p-funks and the same shit happens again! It's like mad crazy I swear! We're making like a sick profit margin off this dumb mother fucker behind the counter. So we keep walking out of the store and casually walking back in until the place is out of p-funks. Then we start scoping the aisles for other shit that costs $6.49 to see if this cat was sucker enough to keep fucking up the change.

I start buying packs of double AA batteries.
Brad starts buying sunglasses.
Treshman starts buying boxes of this gourmet granola shit.
The Dave's buy various porno mags.
It was hilarious yo!

And no doubt each time we'd pay with a 10 spot mr. cashier man would give us a 10, three 1s, 2 quarters, and a penny in change. My man behind the counter must have been seriously whacked out on some shit.

Soon we had to move on to frozen pizzas, then musical greeting cards, then laundry detergent, then bags of beef jerky, then disposable cameras. We were making mad bank! We kept scamming this guy over and over and over until at some point I blacked out.

I woke up the next morning in my apartment with a wicked headache and a wallet full of Twix bar wrappers. No 10s, 1s, quarters, or pennies. No cans of shaving cream, Hungry Man dinners, or toothbrushes. What the fuck!! I called Brad and Tishman and they said the same shit happened to them except Brad woke up with a wallet full of Japanses business cards and Tishman woke up in a clown suit. We never heard from the Dave's again.
The only proof of the $6.49 shopping spree was a receipt in my pocket from when I first went over there to buy those p-funks. Only thing was the date on the receipt said May 13th, 1957. Freaky. Later that day Brad, Tishman, and I went back to the bodega hoping to clear up some shit on what really went down that night but the bodega wasn't there. There was a VCR repair shop there instead but instead of being full of busted VCRs the store was full of working LaserDisc players. Now that's some Twilight Zone shit. No joke.

We're never going to Lube again. That place is whack.

zeroth life lesson: handling money when zooted can lead to danger and/or lunacy. it's recommended if you have the means.