Saying hello can be easy / Contraption

Secret Handshake*

1. Clasp right hands together as if you were performing a standard handshake.
A. Show big, teeth-baring grin.

2. With hands still clasped, extend right thumb upward, pointing toward the sky.
B. Cease grin. Flare nostrils. Unflare nostrils. Flare nostrils. Unflare nostrils.

3. Grasp each others' extended thumb with your left hand.
C. Close eyes.

4. One person bends at the knees and squats as the other stands on their tip toes.
D. Blink eyes as fast as you possibly can.

5. Reverse roles and repeat step 4.
E. Repeat step D.

6. Release each others' hands and position hands just above shoulders, palms facing towards each other.
F. Say "What the hell?"

7. Carefully extend right arm, pointing at each other so that right index fingers barely touch.
G. Say "Are you me?"

8. After contact, quickly retract right arm as if in pain and place in mouth.
H. Look confused.

9. Form hands into binoculars, place over eyes, and rotate head up and down in a scanning motion several times.
I. Say "System processing. System processing."

10. Slowly run left thumb along left nostril.
J. Say "That's what I thought, bitch."

*each numerical step should be performed simultaneously with its corresponding letter.