The odd concurrent happenings of August 23, 1867 / Parentheses

10:55 AM: Inside the general store both Thomas Goffley and Herman Brewster utter the word "webster" simultaneously for completely different reasons whilst shopping for molasses and shoe polish respectively. Thomas, discussing the latest exploits of his recently knighted cousin (Sir Webster Goffley III), and Herman, referencing the author of his newly purchased dictionary. Both men overhear the other and regard each other with uncertainty, each party suspecting the other of eaves dropping. Once casual acquaintances, they vow to never speak to each other again.

12:18 PM: Local entrepreneur and owner of the Blue Bird Inn & Saloon Saul Rigby believes he's perfected his automatic molasses machine. He's rigged it so that when the heating mechanism reaches the ideal temperature a bell will ring indicating the batch is complete. At the precise moment the bell should ring, local drunk Rufus Dilpher spits into a nearby spittoon, making an eerily similar bell sound. Saul celebrates the molasses machine's success. Meanwhile the entire batch slowly burns, becoming inedible.

2:36 PM: Josiah Kilroy stares in the bathroom mirror of room #7 of the Blue Bird Inn & Saloon. He's just finished shaving off his moustache. He's happy never to see that trouble making facial hair ever again. It was time for a change. Just one floor below young Johnny Brewster stares into the bathroom mirror of room #2. He's just finished applying a fake moustache using his father's recently purchased show polish. He'll now get the respect he deserves. Things are about to change.

2:58 PM: Clem Tinker, standing outside the Blue Bird, points across the street, indicating his intention of climbing up to the roof of the general store. Meanwhile Miss Betsy Palamino, standing near the general store, points across the street, indicating his intention of visiting the saloon. Sammy "Jumpy" Litchfield misinterprets both hand gestures as warnings of trouble on either side of the street and overturns his stage coach while trying to maneuver the horses both left and right simultaneously. A month's worth supply of shoe polish spills onto the street as well as passenger Sir Webster Goffley III.

4:06 PM: Convinced his opponent is cheating, Rufus Dilpher rises from his chair at the Blue Bird Inn & Saloon and attempts to draw his pistol. Too drunk to aim, he fires a single shot that misses its target and exits the window. Meanwhile the crazy old codger Clem Tinker is on the roof of the general store again hunting sparrows. He foolishly fires his rifle at the blue bird painted on the window of the saloon across the street. Rufus' and Clem's bullets collide above Main street, falling harmlessly into Josiah Kilroy's and Johnny Brewster's front shirt pockets, temporarily distracting them from staring at each other and contemplating whether the recent addition and subtraction of their respective moustaches was a good idea.