Drunk and high at the 1999 Rose Bowl it suddenly occurs to him that he needs to buy his parents a souvenir. He manages to make is way out of the crowded bleachers to the hallway, quickly locating a stand selling overpriced t-shirts. After a painstaking episode involving choosing the proper shirt design, fumbling with his wallet, attempting to do math, and exchanging awkward fistfulls of bills, he stumbles his way back into the stands and remarkably relocates his seat. There is a sudden lull in the crowd noise after he gets situated. No doubt a crucial 3rd down situation or something of the like but he misinterprets the silence as a mass inquiry as to his gift selection. Eager to oblige the expectant spectators he reaches in the plastic bag and produces the t-shirts, hoisting them in the air, one in each fist. He senses all 100,000 pairs of eyes fixed on him, seemingly unsatisfied with his proud display, wanting something more. It then occurs to him exactly what needs to be said, the missing piece of information that will surely quell the mass's lofty expectations.
"Got my dad a Medium. . . . . and I got my mom a Large!!!"
The crowd erupts in applause. He is truly a comic genius. The star of the show.
Also Ron Dayne had just scored again.
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The other day Jimmy saw a guy that parted his hair higher up on the side of his head and wondered if this is what grown men do to accomodate their receding hairline. You like this*, well how 'bout this**?
ReplyDelete* Receding hairline
** Hair part