These aren’t even words / Dumbwaiter

I knew a guy who could tie his own hands together using his teeth but couldn’t see himself in the mirror while wearing a blindfold. Go figure. Seems like half a dozen of one and six of the other I said as I untied the blindfold and promptly collected my $36. The next day he felt like settling the score so we both got up early, skipped breakfast, positioned two uncomfortable chairs so they faced each other, and sat down with the intentions of spending the day thinking of things the other guy just forgot. I won 11-9 thanks to a last minute recollection of the whereabouts of his jogging socks back in ‘84 – easy 2 points. Still unconvinced, my surly adversary challenged me to an old fashioned game of “truthy/falsey”. Little did he know the game was rigged from the get-go as the Lord has blessed me with mastery in the way of paradoxes, which serves a fruitful purpose in such a game - as you shall soon see. Needless to say I obliged to my foe’s provocation and even let him throw the first haymaker seeing how I already knew the outcome. All the poor soul could muster was, “You can’t know something without knowing everything” to which I promptly replied, “Truthy”. Point yours truly. I then used my turn to put him out of his misery when I said, “ These aren’t even words.” God bless him if he didn’t stutter and stammer for a good 10 minutes before he realized if what I said was a truthy than it was a fasley and if it was a falsey than it was a truthy. The perfect paradox, you see? It’s a wonder his head didn’t explode right then and there. Lucky for him I was in a cordial mood. We shook hands, called it square, and agreed to never associate again. A win-win in my book.