Dr. Oblivion / Corridor

Next time you wake up in the middle of the night, hold your breath and listen for a bit. That faint buzzing sound you hear? You might think it’s your refrigerator but it’s not. It’s him – Dr. Oblivion.

Don’t freak out or anything. He means no harm. In fact chances are you're familiar with his work.

For instance he’s the one who decided that 12 noon was PM and 12 midnight was AM as well as which letters go with which numbers on your phone. He also invented leap year.

Yep. Not exactly a lightweight.

Dr. Oblivion owns channel 1 on your TV dial and uses it to read your mind. Actually no one knows what he uses channel 1 for but that’s what he says just to keep you on your toes.

He’s sneaky like that.

He’s the one who makes objects in your rear view mirror closer than they appear. Oh and he’s the one that gives you the hiccups and foot cramps and forces you to close your eyes when you sneeze. So there’s that.

And there’s more.

You know when your pen runs out of ink and you madly scribble until it comes back to life? Dr. Oblivion isn’t the one who brings is back – he’s the one that made it temporarily inkless.

Yeah he can be kind of a dick.

I failed to mention that Dr. Oblivion lives in the small space of time when you wake up from nap and panic because you think you’re late for work but then realize it’s only Saturday. He’s lived there for like 8 years.

Rent-free no less.

So the next time you wonder who came up with hand-clapping, or why the snooze button gives you 9 minutes, or who decides what color Kansas is on U.S. maps, look no further than your own reflection in the mirror with your eyes closed.

It's your old friend.

zeroth life lesson: the unexplained is merely that. much to my chagrin it won't stay that way.