April 1st, 1987: Seattle native George Midale, a depressed and desperate man with a seemingly eminent divorce and impeding custody battle, comes up with a game called bounceball in his backyard in a last ditch attempt to gain the love and respect of his wife and kids.
April 2nd, 1987: Lorranie Midale decides to give George another chance and they agree to try to work things out – largely due to the great time they all had playing bounceball the day before.
May 15th, 1987: The Midale children introduce their friends to bounceball. They spend hours playing the game in the backyard and develop many of the rules needed for competitive team play.
September 4th, 1987: George and Lorraine organize a neighborhood bounceball tournament with child and adult divisions. Good times are had by all.
February 1st, 1988: The city paper, the Lemon Valley Propheteer, interviews George and runs a story about bounceball and it’s growing popularity in the city.
April 3rd, 1988: The first city sponsored bounceball league begins - utilizing the surrounding high school’s basketball courts and soccer fields.
August 18th, 1990: The Seattle Times runs a story about bounceball and it’s growing popularity in the greater Seattle area.
December 28th, 1990: George Midale is named “Father of the Year” by Family Circle.
January 18th, 1991: George Midale appears on David Letterman with his wife and children and gives a bounceball demonstration in the streets of New York City. Interest in the fledging sport spreads.
1991 – 1992: Bounceball leagues begin to sprout in New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and Miami.
March 4th, 1994: George Midale organizes the first national amateur bounceball tournament in Seattle, Washington. 28 teams representing 16 different cities participate.
1997: Bounceball gains funding as a varsity sport in thousands of high schools nation-wide.
October 7th, 2003: The Wisconsin Badgers defeat the Washington Huskies 8 – 4 in the first NCAA sanctioned bounceball game.
February 17, 2006: The bounceball NCAA championship is nationally televised as Willie “Quick Draw” Bumble scores a then record 7 solo bouncebacks leading the Arizona Wildcats to a thrilling 10-9 victory. Bounceball becomes the most popular collegiate sport in the country.
September 30th, 2008: Mr. George Midale becomes the first commissioner of the Professional Bounceball League of America.
January 15th, 2009: The PBLA conducts its inaugural draft. 180 college players (current and former) are selected. 18 teams with 10 players per team. Calvin Thresher, a sophomore from UCLA, is chosen #1 and signs a 5 year $50 million contract with the Philadelphia Positives two days later.
October 31st, 2009: The Atlanta Synergy defeat the Minneapolis Appreciation 12 – 2 in Bouncy Bowl #1.
August 12th, 2014: Texas Effort star front liner Franklin Spooner sets the PBLA record scoring 10 solo bouncebacks, 11 pass-bys, 10 deflections, and 21 winning stand-offs.
2015: Official PBLA equipment such as head wraps and hand shields sell for $299 and $349 respectively. They generate more revenue than NBA, NFL, and MLBA officially licensed products combined.
2016: The PBLA surpasses the NFL in annual earnings and becomes the nation’s most popular sport.
2021: The PBLA becomes the PBLW (Professional Bounceball League of the World) with franchises in London, Paris, Barcelona, Sydney, Tokyo, Mexico City, Cape Town, and Buenos Aires.
October 31st, 2028: Bouncy Bowl #19 becomes the largest sporting event in the history of the world. 310,000 people pack Google stadium and 150 million others watch from home. 15 people are killed and 36 more are injured in Bangkok during riots after the game.
July 6th, 2030: Paris Perfection star roller Michal Renior commits suicide after receiving hundreds of death threats following a 3 – 4 lose to the Brooklyn Affirmative due to a last second botched pass-by. Over 50,000 people attend his funeral and cheer.
April 8th, 2031: The season is canceled after 8 different teams are indicted in the rubber / latex scandal that resulted in doctored, extra bouncy balls. The following day it’s announced that the previous 6 Bouncy Bowl titles will be relinquished pending further investigation. Multiple riots break out in cities across the globe. Hundreds of people are killed.
May 1st, 2031: The first of thousands of lawsuits are filed against the PBLW. They range from emotional stress to wrongful death.
November 21st, 2031: Timothy Midale, George’s grandson, is murdered in a botched kidnapping attempt.
October 1st, 2032: A protest during a high school bounceball game in Portland, Oregon gets ugly and 2 players, 16 and 18 years old, are beaten to death trying to walk back onto the bounceball field after halftime.
June 30th, 2036: Bankruptcy papers are filed. The PBLW is no more.
2037: All forms of organized bounceball are canceled including college, high school, and tiny tot. Organizers cite safety concerns and fear of legal action as the primary reasons.
2040: After repeated violent incidents being reported at city parks and gyms where bounceball was being played, the local, state, and federal governments unanimously outlaw bounceball – making it a misdemeanor to own a bounceball and a felony to participate in an organized bounceball game.
April 1st, 2047: George Midale dies at the age of 93, exactly 60 years after he invented the game of bounceball in an effort to gain the affection of his wife and kids. Midale died destitute and a recluse, his fortune squandered on legal fees and his sport a worldwide disgrace. His grave is not marked.
zeroth life lesson: purity is a fragile thing easily tainted by popularity.
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You killed me at tiny tot.
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