Nifty tattoo gag / Cummerbunds

I've always wanted to get a tattoo on my forearm of an old man wearing a red stocking cap carrying a bad of groceries - and right underneath that, the word "DAD" in big letters. Then, from that day forward, I'd always keep my eyes peeled for an old man wearing a red stocking cap carrying a bad of groceries. Then, if I ever saw one, I would walk towards him and sort of accidentally run into him so we would both fall to the ground and his groceries would spill all over the sidewalk. I would be very apologetic and help him gather his things, being careful not to make eye contact. Then, after I had helped him repack his bag, I'd help him to his feet, notice his red stocking cap, pull up my sleeve, show him my tattoo and say, "Mom always said you never watched where you were walking."