Thursday, November 13, 2008

Torture faux paux / Receptacle


Ramford: I'm going to ask you one more time. Where are the Blackstone files?

[A bruised and beaten agent Ludlow stares at Ramford, saying nothing.]

Ramford: Your courage, while noble, only delays the inevitable, agent Ludlow. I was wondering how you felt about needles. Long, thick, needles slowly shoved into the back of your knees.

[Ludlow spits blood on the floor.]

Ramford: Defiant until the end. Respectable, but again, pointless.

[Ludlow screams as long, thick needles are slowly shoved into the back of his knees.]

Ramford: [whispering] That's it. That's it. Where are the Blackstone files? Where are they?

Ludlow: Try looking up your ass you sick bastard!

Ramford: I can see that simple foreplay isn't going to work with you. Perhaps it's time for the real fucking to begin.

[Ramford pulls off the blanket that was covering a nearby table, revealing a multitude of horrific torture options.]

Ramford: How would you like to be fucked, agent Ludlow? Electrified sponges? Bucket full of rabid leeches? Inversed pointy horn helmet? The organ reorganizer?

[Ludlow sneezes]

Ramford: Did you just sneeze?

Ludlow: Yes. I guess I did. Excuse me.

Ramford: Kind of weird.

Ludlow: How so?

Ramford: I guess I've just never heard anyone sneeze while being tortured is all.

Ludlow: I can't say I ever recall sneezing while being tortured now that you mention it.

[Ramford gives Ludlow a look of complete disdain]

Ludlow: What?

Ramford: It's just that I thought we really had something good going there, you know? I was really giving it to you as far as the torture is concerned -

Ludlow: Agreed. It really hurts.

Ramford: Exactly. Thanks for saying. And may I say you were doing a helluva job taking it, holding out for longer and longer as I continued to raise the stakes and subject you to more drastic and twisted methods of inflicting pain.

Ludlow: It's not easy. Believe me.

Ramford: Sneezing kind of cheapens the whole thing, don't you think?

[Ludlow farts]

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