Letter to sports from Brian / Nectar

Dear Sports-

You're so great. I'd love to get together sometime and just pick your brain. I can't help but imagine all the crazy thoughts that must go through your head. Stuff like, "we'll put knives on their shoes and make them scoot around on the ice" or "we'll put big red gloves on them and let them pound each other". Amazing.
What's your favorite food? Mine is ice cream. That is if you can even call ice cream a food (lol)!
How did you get so good? I always see you on TV running around and throwing balls and jumping up and down all over the place. You must get awfully tired. I bet you take long naps.
Do people ever pick on you? I bet not, because you are so big and strong. If anybody gave you any lip you'd probably just sock 'em up with a home run and a touchdown. Man wouldn't that be great! The ole' double whammy!
Are you good at math? I bet you have to be in your line of work. Numbers all over the place. Dunk shots are worth 2 points while backhand shots can be 15, 30, or love points. At least water polo is pretty straight forward. I'm just OK at math.
Well I should get going. Keep up the good work with all the games and fun times.

Write me back.

Your pal-

Brian