Fully-disclosured condo listing / Alabaster

EXCLUSIVE! OPEN HOUSE MONDAY, August 4th, 12:30-2:00 p.m. 1360 22nd street.
This house-sized duplex condominium has lots to offer! Ride the elevator that's been masturbated in 12 times to the third floor, and step into a dramatic open-plan living/dining level. The well-appointed kitchen has expansive counter-tops that have been masturbated on only 4 times as well as brand new Viking and Sub-Zero appliances that have yet to be masturbated on! The bright, graciously proportioned living room has four east-facing windows and a spacious dining alcove that has been masturbated in on 44 separate occasions.
There are three bedrooms and a full bath on the third floor (that have been masturbated in 76, 58, 12, and 110 times respectively) and an absolutely spectacular loft-like master suite on the top floor (231 times) complete with its own bath (98 times), and a wood-burning fireplace (just once)! There's also a newly restored rear brick building that's accessed via a private walkway and would make the perfect art or dance studio, workshop, or home office to masturbate in. One more flight up reveals a spectacular 830 sq.ft. landscaped roof deck that's currently being masturbated on with views from the harbor to the Empire State Building. Excellent public schools, transportation and hip 5th Avenue are all within reach!
(Jack Clemens 718 634-8600 ext. 212)