How To: majorly fuck up a bowl of oatmeal / Spittoon

1. Retrieve ceramic bowl from cupboard.
2. Remove box of oatmeal from pantry.
3. Open cardboard flap on top of oatmeal box and remove a single packet of oatmeal.
4. Tear open oatmeal packet.
5. Dump contents of oatmeal packet into ceramic bowl.
6. Retrieve full container of milk from refrigerator.
7. Open container of milk.
8. Pour entire contents of milk container into bowl.
9. Retrieve roll of paper towels from above sink.
10. Soak up spilled milk from table, chair, and kitchen floor.
11. Ring whatever milk you can from paper towels back into bowl.
12. Place bowl in microwave.
13. Microwave on high for 47 minutes.
14. Open microwave.
15. Clean up pieces of ceramic bowl (caution: shards will be very hot!!!)
16. Retrieve plastic bucket from underneath sink.
17. Tip microwave forward, spilling remaining milk, oatmeal, and ceramic shards into plastic bucket.
18. Move out of the way of falling microwave.
19. Discard of broken microwave.
20. Set fire to kitchen.