Pullover / Meryl Streep

-Hello officer.

>Liscense and registration please.

-Of course. It's right here in the glove compartment. . . is there a problem?

>You were swerving between two lanes a few blocks back.

-Sorry about that. Must have accidentally jerked the steering wheel a bit while I was adjusting the radio station.

>Uh huh. Have you had anything to drink?

-No sir.

>Nothing?

-Nothing, I swear.

>You mean to tell me that you've never consumed any sort of alchoholic beverage whatsoever?

-What? No. I mean, of course I have.

>What's that supposed to mean?

-Nothing. I guess I just mean that I haven't had anything to drink today.

>But prior to today you have.

-Yes.

>I suppose you think that's a good idea.

-What is?

>Drinking.

-No, just telling you the truth. I want to be cooperative.

>Yeah, I bet you get real wasted.

-Excuse me?

>Chuggin' down the booze like it's nobody's business. You think that's funny?

-No.

>So why do you do it?

-I don't. I don't know what you're talking about.

>You saying I don't make any sense?

-Of course not. It's just that. . . that-

>You want to be cooperative.

-Yes!

>So that I'll let you go on your merry way.

-Yes!!

>So you can get home and start drinking as fast and as much as possible.

-No!! Look have I broken a law or anything?

>I'd say public intoxication is breaking the law.

-But I'm not intoxicated.

>But you admit you have been.

-This is insane!!

>Is it? Open your trunk.

-Fine. There you go.

>Wait here.

[20 seconds later]

-Is everything OK?

>That's some trunk you got there.

-If you say so.

>Noticed that it's completely empty.

-Yes. . . it is.

>Got anything to say for yourself?

-About an empty trunk? No.

>Figures. Suppose you'll want to wait for your lawyer. It's your right.

-Why would I need a lawyer?

>Let's just say a guy could fit an awful lot of booze in that trunk.

-This is insane!

>I suggest you watch your tone, sir. Sounds to me like a man just itching to get himself a swig of the hard stuff.

-Look. Are you going to write me a ticket or let me go?

>Get out of the car.

-May I ask why that is necessary?

>There's a bar across the street. You buy me a beer and I'll forget this whole episode ever happened.

-What episode? What have I done?

>The whole 'getting wasted all the time', stashing beer and drugs in your trunk, and being a lousy father and husband. Water under the bridge if you buy me a shot across the street there.

-Wait a minute. Are you even a cop?

>If I wasn't, I might as well be!

[officer fires gun into the air 3 times]

>Ha ha ha ha!!

[driver spits out mouthful of beer]

-Good one!!