Handling / Wilmer Wai

What you pay for when you pay for shipping and handling:

Shipping - The physical process of transporting your purchase.

Handling - Some guy picks it up, tosses it in the air about 3 feet, catches it, sets in on a table, stares at it for a while, tries to feed tries to feed it some of his lunch, laughs about it, pretends to have sex with it, buffs it up a little using his shirt collar, uses it to sratch an itch inside his shoe, insults it, takes it out ot dinner, makes a condecending remark about it in front of the waiter, makes it pick up the check, has real sex with it, doesn't offer it breakfast or a ride home the next morning, waits a full week before calling it and then inexdplicably invites it to the zoo, buys it a corn dog, tosses it in the dolphin tank, forgets about it, returns 3 weeks later to claim it out of lost and found, cleans it, teaches it jiu jitsu, names it Neil, gets a tattoo of it right above his ass crack, refuses to kiss it goodbye, refuses to kiss it goodbye, refuses to kiss it goodbye, kisses it goodbye, puts it in the box for shipping.