Opposites / Rudy Schlep

Another game I used to play a lot was called 'Opposites'. My roommate in college made it up. The way 'Opposites' worked is Doug, my roommate, would say a word and I would try to guess the opposite of that word. He knew them all. Would you guys like to play?

Cool.

I have Doug's notebook here, where he wrote down all his opposites. Let’s try a few.

[looking through Doug's notebook]

Here’s a good one! Frisbee. What is the opposite of a frisbee? Any guesses?

Anyone?

Nope, nice try. I see where you were going with loaf of bread but try to think more along the lines of the absolute opposite of frisbee.

Anyone else?

Closer. The correct answer is actually switchblade. Yes, switchblade is what we were looking for. OK let’s try another one.

Door knob. . . Anyone? Once again what's the opposite of door knob?

Pancake you say? O.K. you got the right idea. Build on that. Keep it going with that.

No I’m sorry the opposite of door knob is burning yourself with a cigarette. That was a tough one. Alright one more. You know what, let’s take one from the audience here. Anyone yell out a word and I’ll look it up in Doug's notebook here and I’ll tell you the opposite.

The gentleman in the back said robot I believe. Good word.

[looking it up in the notebook]

Here it is. Opposite of robot. Any guesses?

No.

No. You’re way off. The opposite of robot is. . . severe, unchecked depression.

. . . . [long pause] . . . . . . .

You know, now that I’m looking at some of these a little more closely. . . sleeping pills, restraining order, digging a shallow grave, dead puppies. Yeah, this is kinda messed up. I wonder how Doug's doing anyway. I should look him up. You know, give him a call to check in.

He’d probably like his notebook back.