Minutes from the fellowship of N.O.R.M.A.L. persons / Gloria Titlecock

The Fellowship of N.O.R.M.A.L. persons of America

Meeting Minutes
Feb. 30, 2009

Location:
Underneath the big oak tree by the softball fields in Prospect Park. Brooklyn, NY.

The following members were present: Jebediah Bread, Senator Candance Dropshot, Linden B. Flowers, Beartrap, Priscilla Rapeweahter, Robert the William, and Paul Saulwall (Delegate Abraham Pisswood participated via walkie-talkie from atop the oak tree).

The following members were absent: Professor Lieutenant, Whistle Fuel, and the Manbird (not believed to actually exist).

Guests included: The Remarkable Ted - Associate Director of Space & Time

Chairman Jebediah Bread called the meeting to order at 1:06 pm, requesting review of the previous meeting's (11/31/08) minutes.

Delegate Pisswood moved the minutes to be accepted, and they were approved by voice vote.

Chairman Bread immediately filed a motion to revisit the fellowships acronym and proposed a change from the current:

Nixing
Old
Rituals
Making
America
Looser

to

Nary
Ordinary
Religiously
Mitigated to
Alternate
Lifestyles

The motion was accepted unanimously by a groan vote.

Next the panel broke into groups of 1 or 2 and spent the following 35 minutes constructing alternative ice-breaking comments. The groups then reconvened and offered the following suggestions:

"That shirt you're wearing would look great with the sleeves cut off."
"Thank goodness for gravity."
"Life after death would be beneficial for an individual of your good nature and warm heartedness."
"Fire from ice. Tell me how!"
"That guy over there wanted to kill you but I just talked him out of it."

Chairman Bread next instructed the panel to consider how their lives would be different if they could travel at the speed of light. Senator Dropshot remarked that this would be great because then they could travel through time. Chairman Bread replied that he didn't mean it in terms of time travel but only in terms of being able to travel super fast. Abraham Pisswood yelled down from the tree that there was no point in being able to travel at the speed of light if you weren't allowed to travel through time. Robert the William agreed. At this point Chairman Bread said nevermind.

Chairman Bread next welcomed guest The Remarkable Ted - Associate Director of Space & Time, who dazzled the attendees with his ability to disrupt the nearby softball game by loudly predicting ball trajectories with alarming accuracy not to mention making several great catches using a large dog catcher's net.  Ted then passed around a snack of delicious snacks.

Robert the William then made a dual motion to extend an offer of membership to The Remarkable Ted - Associate Director of Space & Time and to revoke the membership of Manbird who has yet to attend a meeting or pay social dues.  The motion was denied.  Ted was dismissed.

As a standard item of business each member wrote his/her quarterly invoke/implore memo, letters to Manbird invoking his attendance and imploring his existence.  The letters were then collected, shuffled, redistributed, and read aloud in a mocking fashion of its author, as is the custom.

Having no other items before the panel, Chairman Bread declared the meeting adjourned at approximately 1:45 pm.

Respectfully submitted,

Beartrap
[Grand Scribe]