Easy way to perturb a small child / Bernard Pamphlette

If red is green and green is blue;

then apples are veggies and nightmares are true.

If left is right and right is wrong;

then the hand you eat with is as good as gone.

Spaghetti for breakfast and pancakes at night;

no crying in church and no cheating when you fight.

If you stand in your bed and sleep in your shoes;

then instead of cartoons you'll be watching the news.

If bunnies are girls and dragons are boys;

then teddy will die if you leave out your toys.

If mom says yes but dad says no;

go ahead and try it if the voices say so.

Hear it in your nose or feel it with your eye;

either one is possible if your face has been smashed in.