Curtain Rods / Candace Birdsnatch

The curtain rod in the nursery sags with the weight of the makeshift curtain. It’s a piece-of-shit curtain rod so it’s not surprising. I bought it at the local hardware store for $7.99 to replace the thought to be even shittier, makeshift curtain rod. To even call that monstrosity a curtain rod was bold as it was nothing more than two wooden poles glued, then screwed, then glued again, together – not my proudest handiwork (but close). About a month ago the glue/screw job gave way and the whole apparatus collapsed. No one was harmed but panic ensued. "What if somebody had been standing there?" "What if the baby had been standing there?" "What if someone had been standing there with the baby?" I briefly considered pointing out how difficult it would be to stand directly underneath the curtain rod - as the curtain would be in the way - but I bit my tongue. If I've learned anything since becoming a father it's to choose my battles wisely. As a reminder to my wife that, while shoddy at best and potentially dangerous, my handcrafted curtain rod served its purpose valiantly, I waited a full week before purchasing this sorry excuse for a replacement. It was the only one in the store that was long enough. Metal, but yet flimsy somehow. Extended to the full 144 inches that the box it came in said it could cover. I look at it now and realize that it too will fall and I'll be faced with "the curtain rod situation" once again. And that's fine. I'll make do. I haven't seen my last shitty curtain rods. The cycle's just begun. The sooner I come to understand that the happier I'll be.