Actual straight-faced conversation I had with my wife the other day / Lionel Truthobel

Me: We got some time before the bus comes. I think I might go and get something we can eat on the way.

Wife: Where are you going to go?

Me: There’s that Quiznos a few blocks down. That work for you?

Wife: Yeah.

Me: What kind of sandwich do you want?

Wife: Do they have veggie?

Me: I would imagine so.

Wife: Then I’ll have that. With whatever veggies they have, mustard and mayo.

Me: What if they don’t have a veggie sandwich?

Wife: Then I guess I’ll have turkey.

Me: And what would you want on the turkey sandwich?

(after a brief moment of consideration)

Wife: I guess whatever veggies they have, mustard and mayo.

Me: On wheat?

Wife: On wheat.