-Although I'm not purchasing food here now, the food I currently need to shit was indeed purchased here. I have the receipt.
-Burger King bathroom doesn't have a bidet.
-Where else am I supposed to wash these newborn pups?
-But Steve wrote some exceedingly derogatory remarks about me right above the hand dryer and I just came up with the ideal retort.
-On a scavenger hunt. Need clown feces.
-I'm with the Demon Squad. Your bathroom mirror is suspected to be portal to 5th layer of hell.
-I'm homeless and need somewhere to sleep. This is my absolute low point before my dramatic rebound and eventual climb to national recognition as a 5 time grammy winner for best R&B artist. My story will be made into a movie and this very scene with this very bathroom will be a vital point in the film. I'm offering you the role of yourself and 10% on all T-shirt royalties.
-I think I may have left my baby in there.
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