Thoughts as I fall from the roof of a building after slipping on a banana peel / Midge Mayhem

Well, this is embarrassing.

I guess that's what I get for horsing around on the roof of a 120 floor building.

Although I gotta say the punishment of certain death seems a little extreme.

Wow! This is windier than I expected. Really quite annoying.

Slipping on a banana peel. What a way to go out!

It sure beats dying of cancer or getting stabbed in the gut after being robbed. I mean, at least I get the pleasure of pondering the irony. Both hilarious and tragic!

Who disposes of their banana peel on the roof of a 120 story building anyway?

Sure would like to have a strong word or two with that dick head.

People will probably think I committed suicide.

That's unfortunate. . .

On the other hand it may be preferable to the notion that I simply slipped.

I guess I need to decide if I want my family and friends to think I was really depressed or really stupid.

If there was only a way I could tell them that I slipped on a banana peel. . . I think they'd appreciate that.

I have piece of paper in my back pocket here. I wonder if I have a pen?

[checking coat pocket for pen]

If anyone is watching me fall right now they're probably asking themselves, "Is that guy reaching into his coat pocket looking for something?"

Ha! If only I had a pair of reading glasses I could put on or a cigarette I could try to light.

That would be classic!

I'd be a YouTube sensation. Go all viral and shit!

Well, no pen. Must have left it on my desk. Oh well. So much for that idea.

I wonder if my cheeks are doing that flappy thing?

Coming close to the ground here. I guess I should brace myself?

Hmm. Feet first or head first?

I'll go with head. No need to try to make this look prettier than it's going to be.

Should I yell something?

Maybe "Heads Up!" or "Coming through!"

I guess it should be something more poignant seeing as they'll be the last words I'll utter. . .

Perhaps, "Glory be to Jesus!" or "U.S.A. U.S.A.!"

No. I'm going to go with something that cements my legacy. Something more personal. A quick statement that, when relayed to my friends and family, will result in both the nodding of heads in a solemn fashion as well as faint smiles of respect and deep understanding.

"Tell everyone life is like a banan-"

!!!SPLAT!!!