The illusive office orgy / Jonathan Candy

I leave work the other day. It’s a little after 5:00. I’m one of the first ones out of the office. I take the elevator down, walk through the lobby and out the doors. I’m about half-way to the subway when I realize I forgot something. Gotta go back. I re-enter the building. Wait for the elevator. Take it up to my floor. And as the doors open I couldn’t help but think to myself - What if they’re all having sex?

What if, right after they saw me leave, all my co-workers started fucking each other?

It’s not that I’m a paranoid person. It’s just something about the people I work with. . . I sincerely think they’re screwing each other’s brains out when I’m not around. "Alright guys he just left. Drop your pants and whip out those titties!"

I assume the first thing I'll see when I get off the elevator is Tracy from accounts receivable and Frank from the mail room 69ing it up on top of the reception desk.

Of course when I return everything is how I left it. Heads glued to computer screens. The occasional phone ringing. I slowly return to my desk being careful to look for evidence recent debauchery - untucked shirts, tussled hair, hastily cleared desks and the like. I see none.

I grab my dildo and take the elevator back downstairs.