The drunk girl who thinks she's Jesus / Javier Bonbardo

There's a girl who lives down the street that has a drinking problem. She's in her late teens, early twenties. Her dad kicked her out of the house and she now lives in the modest guest house in the back which is nothing more than a glorified tool shed - enough room for a bed, a television, and piles of dirty laundry and empty vodka bottles.

I know all this because everyone in town knows this. Every couple days the screaming episodes resonate throughout a 4 block radius.

"Jenny, when we said you could move out here it was under the condition you'd keep the place clean. Pick this shit up!"

"It is clean. It's clean in spirit and it's clean of the lies and corruption that tries to seep through the cracks whenever you or one of your cronies come knocking. Leave me the fuck alone!"

Things usually escalate from there. Threats are tossed to and fro. Ultimatums are given. Chairs are thrown. Sometimes Jenny's mom shows up. Sometimes the cops are called.

It's the talk of the town.

Jenny thinks she's Jesus. Well, not Jesus exactly, but she claims she's the daughter of God. She often parades the streets, naked, clutching a piece of paper with scribbled numbers, symbols, and figures. She claims that it's all so simple. She claims that seven plus seven is fourteen which is a one and a four which represents the relationship between the one God and the four elements of the mind which are self consciousness, pain, pleasure, and time. She claims that infinity strikes when we realize tomorrow is bullshit. She claims that we're all fucking morons. She claims a lot of other stuff too, much of which I can't make heads or tails of, not to say that it's not well thought out. The neighbors watch her from behind the curtains and shake their heads. They send their children up to their rooms and suggest they watch television for a while. Then they call each other to exchange voices of reason and reassure each other that she's evil.

"I don't care how old she is. They aught to lock her up and throw away the key."

"Sally told me that when she does happen to show up at school she won't sit in one classroom. She spends five minutes in each one, spits on the floor, and moves on. That's just not right."

"I heard her father had to take out a second mortgage on his house to help pay for rehab, and she got kicked out after 3 1/2 hours."
"Thank God our children are involved in sports."

No doubt she's a terrible drunk - a troubled and stupid kid with a lot to learn. With some professional help and counseling she may actually come to realize that there's more to life then the here and now, and that in order to get by in this world you need to concede to certain societal norms. You got to love your dad, eat a good breakfast, and study your times tables.

But then again, maybe she's Jesus.

zeroth life lesson: never be too busy to take a minute out of your day to listen to the guy on the corner dressed in tinfoil. at least hear him out.