Analysis:
Me:
1. Bathroom mirror time
a. standard bathroom breaks
average of 7 seconds per bathroom trip (average of 5 trips per day) = 35 seconds per day.
11,898 days (current age) - 2,555 days (first 7 years of life where I really didn't look in the mirror after using the restroom) = 9,343 days X 35 seconds per day = 327,005 seconds I've seen my own face in the mirror after using the restroom.
b. morning preparation & tooth brushing
(hair styling)
current average time each morning styling hair = 16 seconds X 5.5 days per week (each week day 25% of weekend days (I often wear hats on weekends)) X 49 weeks per year (big fan of hats on vacations) X 9.5 years of my professional working career = 40,964 seconds.
average time each morning styling hair prior to my professional working career = 35 seconds per day (went through a crazy gel and mousse stage) X 5.75 days per week (was not quite as big a fan of hats) X 52 weeks per year (no vacations) X 15 years (from age 9 to 23) = 156,975 seconds.
40,964 + 156,975 = 197,939 seconds seeing my own face while styling hair.
(tooth brushing (morning))
average of 120 seconds per tooth brushing session X 19% of brushing time actually looking in the mirror (I like to wander around while brushing) X 6.7 days per week (I've been known to skip a morning now and then) X 52 weeks per year X 30 years (didn't start brushing teeth in front of mirror until I was 2) = 238,306 seconds.
(tooth brushing (evening))
average of 120 seconds per tooth brushing session X 28% of brushing time actually looking in the mirror (I tend to look in the mirror more at night) X 5.7 days per week (I've been known to skip an evening now and then) X 52 weeks per year X 30 years (didn't start brushing teeth in front of mirror until I was 2) = 298,771 seconds.
197,939 seconds styling hair + 238,306 seconds brushing teeth (morning) +298,771 seconds brushing teeth (evening) = 735,016 seconds I've seen my face in the mirror during morning prep and brush time.
c. general preening
pre-puberty; average of 10 seconds per day X 4,745 days (first 13 years of life) = 47,450 seconds.
puberty to marriage; average of 240 seconds per day X 5,840 days (age 13 to age 29 (age I got married)) = 1,401,600 seconds.
post marriage; average of 27 seconds per day X 1,384 (days I've been married) = 37,368 seconds.
47,450 seconds (before age of 13) + 1,401,600 seconds (between ages of 13 and 7/21/2006 (marriage date)) + 37,368 seconds (marriage date to 5/05/2010)= 1,486,418 seconds I've seen my face in the mirror during general preening.
2. Other reflection sightings (besides bathroom mirrors)
average of 0.87 seconds per day seeing own reflection in store/building windows, lakes, large puddles, rear view mirrors, and turned off TV screens X 11,898 days (current age) = 10,351 seconds I've seen my face in other reflections.
327,005 seconds of mirror time after using the restroom
+
735,016 seconds mirror time during morning prep and teeth brushing
+
1,486,418 seconds of mirror time during general preening
+
10,351 seconds seeing reflection in non-bathroom mirror surfaces
=
2,558,790 = 42,647 minutes = 710.8 hours = 29.62 days I have seen my own face.
____________________________________________
My Mother:
1. Prior to kindergarten
a. First three months of my life
average of 4 hours (14,400 seconds) per day looking at my face X 90 days = 1,296,000 seconds.
b. Months 4 - 12 (the rest of year 1)
average of 1.5 hours (5,400 seconds) per day looking at my face X 275 days = 1,485,000 seconds.
c. Ages 1 -5
average of 45 minutes (2,700 seconds) per day looking at my face X 1,460 days (4 years) = 3,942,000 seconds.
1,296,000 seconds during the first three months + 1,485,000 seconds during months 4 - 12 of year one + 3,942,000 seconds during ages 1 - 5 = 6,723,000 seconds my mother saw my face prior to kindergarten.
2. Kindergarten through High School
average of 11 minutes (660 seconds) per day looking at my face X 5,110 days (14 years) = 3,372,600 seconds my mother saw my face from kindergarten through high school.
3. College years
a. during school
average of 5 minutes per month (300 seconds) looking at my face X 40.5 months (9 months of school per year for 4.5 years of college) = 12,150 seconds.
b. during holiday breaks
average of 6 minutes per day (360 seconds) looking at my face X 63 days (14 days of holiday breaks (7 for X-mas + 4 for Thanksgiving + 3 for homecoming) X 4.5 years of college))= 22,680 seconds.
c. during summers spent at home
average of 4 minutes per day (240 seconds) looking at my face X 180 days (2 summers spent at home = 90 days (3 months) X 2) = 43,200 seconds.
12,150 seconds (during school) + 22,680 seconds (during school visits) + 43,200 seconds (during holiday breaks when back home) = 78,030 seconds my mother saw my face during my college years.
4. Post college
a. visits to New York by Mom
average of 15 minutes per day (900 seconds) X 8 days per year (2 visits per year averaging 4 days each) X 9.5 years = 68,400 seconds.
b. visits to Mom during the holidays
average of 15 minutes per day (900 seconds) X 6.5 days per year (2 visits per year averaging 3.25 days each) X 9.5 years = 55,575 seconds.
68,400 seconds (New York visits) + 55,575 seconds (trips back home) = 123,975 seconds my mother saw my face since moving to New York after college.
6,723,000 seconds looking at my face prior to kindergarten
+
3,372,600 seconds looking at my face from kindergarten through high school
+
78,030 seconds looking at my face during college years
+
123,975 seconds looking at my face since moving to New York
=
10,297,605 seconds = 171,627 minutes = 2,860 hours = 119.2 days my mom has seen my face.
____________________________________________
My Wife:
1. The courting phase
a. week days
-conversation
average of 27.5 minutes per week (1,650 seconds (10 minutes per day X 2.75 days per week (did not see each other every week night))) for 128 weeks (873 days between the day we met (10/10/2001) and the day we moved into together (3/1/2004)) = 211,200 seconds.
-staring/admiring
average of 2 minutes per week (120 seconds (43.6 seconds per day X 2.75 days per week (did not see each other every week night))) for 128 weeks (873 days between the day we met (10/10/2001) and the day we moved into together (3/1/2004)) = 15,360 seconds.
-random glances
average of 22 seconds per week (8 seconds per day X 2.75 days per week (did not see each other every week night)) for 128 weeks (873 days between the day we met (10/10/2001) and the day we moved into together (3/1/2004)) = 2,816 seconds.
b. weekends
-conversation
average of 170 minutes per weekend (10,200 seconds (85 minutes per day X 2 days per week (Friday night to Sunday night))) for 128 weekends (873 days between the day we met (10/10/2001) and the day we moved into together (3/1/2004)) = 1,305,600 seconds.
-staring/admiring
average of 6 minutes per weekend (360 seconds (3 minutes per day X 2 days per week (Friday night to Sunday night))) for 128 weekends (873 days between the day we met (10/10/2001) and the day we moved into together (3/1/2004)) = 46,080 seconds.
-random glances
average of 1 minute per weekend (60 seconds (30 minutes per day X 2 days per week (Friday night to Sunday night))) for 128 weekends (873 days between the day we met (10/10/2001) and the day we moved into together (3/1/2004)) = 7,680 seconds.
211,200 weekday seconds conversing + 15,360 weekday seconds staring/admiring + 2,816 weekday seconds of random glances + 1,305,600 weekend seconds conversing + 46,080 weekend seconds staring/admiring + 7,680 weekend seconds of random glances = 1,588,736 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'courting' phase.
2. Moving in together phase
- conversation
average of 8 minutes per day (480 seconds) for 872 days (period from date we moved in together (3/3/2004) to date we were married (7/21/2006)) = 418,560 seconds.
-staring/admiring
average of 1.5 minutes per day (90 seconds) for 872 days (period from date we moved in together (3/3/2004) to date we were married (7/21/2006)) = 78,480 seconds.
-random glances
average of 25 seconds per day for 872 days (period from date we moved in together (3/3/2004) to date we were married (7/21/2006)) = 21,800 seconds.
418,560 seconds conversing + 78,480 seconds staring/admiring + 21,800 seconds of random glances = 518,840 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'moving in together' phase.
3. Marriage phase
- conversation
average of 5 minutes per day (300 seconds) for 642 days (period from date we were married (7/21/2006) to date our daughter was born (4/23/2008)) = 192,600 seconds.
-staring/admiring
average of 11 seconds per day for 642 days (period from date we were married (7/21/2006) to date our daughter was born (4/23/2008)) = 7,062 seconds.
-random glances
average of 25 seconds per day for 642 days (period from date we moved in together (3/3/2004) to date we were married (7/21/2006)) = 16,050 seconds.
192,600 seconds conversing + 7,062 seconds staring/admiring + 16,050 seconds of random glances = 215,712 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'marriage' phase.
4. Since the birth of our child phase
- conversation
average of 4 minutes per day (240 seconds) for 742 days (period from date our first child was born (4/23/2008) to today (5/05/2010)) = 178,080 seconds.
-staring/admiring
average of 2.5 seconds per day for 742 days (period from date our first child was born (4/23/2008) to today (5/05/2010)) = 1,855 seconds.
-random glances
average of 25 seconds per day for 742 days (period from date our first child was born (4/23/2008) to today (5/05/2010)) = 18,550 seconds.
178,080 seconds conversing + 1,855 seconds staring/admiring + 18,550 seconds of random glances = 198,485 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'since the birth of our child' phase.
1,588,736 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'courting' phase
+
518,840 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'moving in together' phase.
+
215,712 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'marriage' phase.
+
198,485 seconds of my wife seeing my face during our 'since the birth of our child' phase.
=
2,521,773 seconds = 42,030 minutes = 700.5 hours = 29.19 days my wife has seen my face.
____________________________________________
Results**:
1st place - My mother (119.2 days)
2nd place - Me (29.62 days)
3rd place - My wife (29.19 days)
Current pacing is as follows:
My mother: average of 15 minutes per day (900 seconds) X average of 14.5 days per year (8 days of her coming to New York + 6.5 days of me traveling home) = 12,600 seconds per year / 365 days in a year = average of 35.5 seconds per day.
Me: average of 35 seconds per day after bathroom trips + 11.8 seconds hair styling (40,964 total seconds / 9.5 years of professional working career / 365 days) + 21.8 seconds tooth brushing (morning)(238,306 total seconds / 30 years (didn't start brushing teeth in front of mirror until I was 2) / 365 days) + 27.3 seconds tooth brushing (evening) (298,771 total seconds / 30 years (didn't start brushing teeth in front of mirror until I was 2) / 365 days) + 27 seconds per day preening + 0.87 seconds per day seeing own reflection in store/building windows, lakes, large puddles, rear view mirrors, and turned off TV screens = average of 123.8 seconds per day.
My Wife: average of 4 minutes per day (240 seconds) in conversation + 2.5 seconds per day staring/admiring + 25 seconds per day of random glances = average of 267.5 seconds per day.
____________________________________________
Conclusions:
I trail my mother in total face time by 7,738,815 seconds. Each day I catch up by an average of 88.3 seconds. If I ever hope to catch and surpass her and move into first place (assuming my mother lives to the current life expectancy of an American female of 80.1 years (after which time I'll be catching up by an average of 123.8 seconds per day)) I'll need to maintain my current pacing of 123.8 seconds per day for another 64,424 days (6,673 days (number of day between today (5/5/2010) and my mother's calculated demise (8/11/2028) of outpacing my mother by 88.3 seconds per day + 57,751 days of outpacing my mother by 123.8 seconds per day) or 176.5 years. This would happen on Saturday, September 23, 2186.
Likelihood = negligible
The most startling and exciting finding would have to be how close my wife and I are in terms of total viewing time of my face. Since first meeting 8 1/2 years ago my wife is currently trailing me in total Rich face time by only 10 hours, 19 minutes, and 12 seconds (37,152 seconds). She also happens to be outpacing me by 143.7 seconds per day (267.5 - 123.8) so at this rate she will pass me and move into second place in 258.5 days. Sometime around noon on Tuesday, January 18, 2011.
Likelihood = imminent
**Important to note that these results are specific to the author, Rich Zeroth, and are not meant to reflect universal or broad truths and/or application. I encourage readers to conduct their own 'face time' analysis and would strongly recommend interested parties to take special note of unique circumstances in their own life that may yield to vastly different results than mine over time (e.g. having a stay at home mother until the age of 5 (where my mother no doubt built her insurmountable lead), the habit of wandering around when brushing my teeth rather than staring in the mirror (a primary reason why my wife will pass me on 1/18/11), and the ever dwindling rate at which my wife has looked at my face from dating through parenthood (perhaps your wife or husband hasn't displayed the same adverseness to eye contact over the years).
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