Aught eight: the year in words / Catamaran

By date:

1/1/08 Canteen
1/2/08 Saloon
1/3/08 Bureau
1/4/08 Abacus
1/7/08 Alpaca
1/8/08 Lynx
1/9/08 Nog
1/10/08 Lichen
1/11/08 Toll booth
1/14/08 Smock
1/15/08 Quill
1/16/08 Pipette
1/17/08 Box spring
1/18/08 Bog
1/21/08 Tube
1/22/08 Shank
1/23/08 Spectacles
1/24/08 Galoshes
1/25/08 Dumpling
1/28/08 Anemone
1/29/08 Chain mail
1/30/08 Alfalfa
1/31/08 Tryptophan
2/1/08 Narwhal
2/4/08 Buoy
2/5/08 Flume
2/6/08 Cummerbunds
2/7/08 Gravy
2/8/08 Talon
2/11/08 Dumbwaiter
2/12/08 Sickle
2/13/08 Rhubarb
2/14/08 Kaleidoscope
2/15/08 Houndstooth
2/18/08 Shuttlecock
2/19/08 Pew
2/20/08 Doilie
2/21/08 Bangs
2/22/08 Tapioca
2/25/08 Junction
2/26/08 Generator
2/27/08 Corridor
2/28/08 Mallard
2/29/08 Ladel
3/3/08 Seepshank
3/4/08 Manhole
3/5/08 Sky hook
3/6/08 Defibrillator
3/7/08 Laser
3/10/08 Canister
3/11/08 Bolo
3/12/08 Smelt
3/13/08 Cape
3/14/08 Ball bearings
3/17/08 Goggles
3/18/08 Monocle
3/19/08 Dinghy
3/20/08 Dollop
3/21/08 Organ
3/24/08 Balm
3/25/08 Stogie
3/26/08 Caboose
3/27/08 Blinders
3/28/08 Whammy bar
3/31/08 Marmot
4/1/08 Tire chains
4/2/08 Scrunchie
4/3/08 Wing nut
4/4/08 Whittler
4/7/08 Kielbasa
4/8/08 Tugboat
4/9/08 Melon rind
4/10/08 Burro
4/11/08 Pumpernickel
4/14/08 Thermos
4/15/08 Broth
4/16/08 Ascot
4/17/08 Buzzard
4/18/08 Bunt cake
4/21/08 Cat nip
4/22/08 Fly swatter
4/23/08 PJ
4/24/08 Bone Spur
4/25/08 Peninsula
4/28/08 Sidewinder
4/29/08 Handkerchief
4/30/08 Bacon wrap
5/1/08 Bird bath
5/2/08 Sea spray
5/5/08 Newt
5/6/08 Kindling
5/7/08 Snifter
5/8/08 Cyborg
5/9/08 Muzzle
5/12/08 Harpsicord
5/13/08 Pajamas
5/14/08 Rickshaw
5/15/08 Riptide
5/16/08 Parasol
5/19/08 Spork
5/20/08 Trampoline
5/21/08 Pilgrim
5/22/08 Melon baller
5/23/08 Pump
5/26/08 Asteroid
5/27/08 Cloak
5/28/08 Contraption
5/29/08 Boar
5/30/08 Mauve
6/2/08 Magpie
6/3/08 Quiver
6/4/08 Isoceles
6/5/08 Licorice whip
6/6/08 Wisk
6/9/08 Ejector seat
6/10/08 Chute
6/11/08 Thimble
6/12/08 Tadpole
6/13/08 Burglar
6/16/08 Spatula
6/17/08 Albatross
6/18/08 Thistle
6/19/08 Slobber
6/20/08 Porridge
6/23/08 Quicksand
6/24/08 Bassoon
6/25/08 Orb
6/26/08 Mahogany
6/27/08 Flapjacks
6/30/08 Parentheses
7/1/08 Filament
7/2/08 Cornucopia
7/3/08 Hot dish
7/4/08 Bidet
7/7/08 Dune buggy
7/8/08 Ghoul
7/9/08 Pontoon
7/10/08 Fricassee
7/11/08 Formaldehyde
7/14/08 Spittoon
7/15/08 Du rag
7/16/08 Peat
7/17/08 Toadstool
7/18/08 Mascarpone
7/21/08 Lumberjack
7/22/08 Bramble
7/23/08 Molotov cocktail
7/24/08 Bloomers
7/25/08 Banister
7/28/08 Boll weevil
7/29/08 Moonshine
7/30/08 Bulbs
7/31/08 Succotash
8/1/08 Nectar
8/4/08 Alabaster
8/5/08 Parallelogram
8/6/08 Fortress
8/7/08 Ampersand
8/8/08 Trinket
8/11/08 Hydrant
8/12/08 Spindle
8/13/08 Linoleum
8/14/08 Kettle
8/15/08 Tentacle
8/18/08 Hovercraft
8/19/08 Jackal
8/20/08 Wardrobe
8/21/08 Malamute
8/22/08 Musket
8/25/08 Leotard
8/26/08 Box elder bug
8/27/08 Carafe
8/28/08 Torpedo
8/29/08 Helmet
9/1/08 Snorkel
9/2/08 Jowls
9/3/08 Chassis
9/4/08 Coil
9/5/08 Moat
9/8/08 Clydesdale
9/9/08 Perm
9/10/08 Sheath
9/11/08 Spigot
9/12/08 Sleuth
9/15/08 Plank
9/16/08 Fiddle
9/17/08 Mallet
9/18/08 Davenport
9/19/08 Bagpipes
9/22/08 Warrior
9/23/08 Trident
9/24/08 Chinchilla
9/25/08 Trendril
9/26/08 Marsh
9/29/08 Vestibule
9/30/08 Goblet
10/1/08 Fuse
10/2/08 Punt
10/3/08 Cauldron
10/6/08 Double-u
10/7/08 Wand
10/8/08 Grouse
10/9/08 Crank
10/10/08 Spout
10/13/08 Specimen
10/14/08 Auger
10/15/08 Quartz
10/16/08 Nomad
10/17/08 Barb
10/20/08 Lynchpin
10/21/08 Kumquat
10/22/08 Punch
10/23/08 Millet
10/24/08 Stalk
10/27/08 Gasket
10/28/08 Mamba
10/29/08 Celophane
10/30/08 Gourd
10/31/08 Tumbler
11/3/08 Scepter
11/4/08 Podium
11/5/08 Marrow
11/6/08 Studebaker
11/7/08 Pinochle
11/10/08 Sill
11/11/08 Thorax
11/12/08 Polyp
11/13/08 Receptacle
11/14/08 Lariat
11/17/08 Dungeon
11/18/08 Fowl
11/19/08 Condominium
11/20/08 Lard
11/21/08 Cobbler
11/24/08 Chum
11/25/08 Knoll
11/26/08 Spool
11/27/08 Spit valve
11/28/08 Pelt
12/1/08 Styrofoam
12/2/08 Myrrh
12/3/08 Amulet
12/4/08 Radish
12/5/08 Barnacle
12/8/08 Acrobat
12/9/08 Spoiler
12/10/08 Vat
12/11/08 Slush
12/12/08 Placard
12/15/08 Hermit
12/16/08 Heifer
12/17/08 Vortex
12/18/08 Plough
12/19/08 Magenta
12/22/08 Rotunda
12/23/08 Loaf
12/24/08 Rudder
12/25/08 Wreath
12/26/08 Rutabaga
12/29/08 Macaroon
12/30/08 Satchel
12/31/08 Catamaran

Alphabetical Order:

Abacus
Acrobat
Alabaster
Albatross
Alfalfa
Alpaca
Ampersand
Amulet
Anemone
Ascot
Asteroid
Auger
Bacon wrap
Bagpipes
Ball bearings
Balm
Bangs
Banister
Barb
Barnacle
Bassoon
Bidet
Bird bath
Blinders
Bloomers
Boar
Bog
Boll weevil
Bolo
Bone spur
Box elder bug
Box spring
Bramble
Broth
Bulbs
Bunt cake
Buoy
Bureau
Burglar
Burro
Buzzard
Caboose
Canister
Canteen
Cape
Carafe
Cat nip
Catamaran
Cauldron
Celophane
Chain mail
Chassis
Chinchilla
Chum
Chute
Cloak
Clydesdale
Cobbler
Coil
Condominium
Contraption
Cornucopia
Corridor
Crank
Cummerbunds
Cyborg
Davenport
Defibrillator
Dinghy
Doilie
Dollop
Double-u
Du rag
Dumbwaiter
Dumpling
Dune buggy
Dungeon
Ejector seat
Fiddle
Filament
Flapjacks
Flume
Fly swatter
Formaldehyde
Fortress
Fowl
Fricassee
Fuse
Galoshes
Gasket
Generator
Ghoul
Goblet
Goggles
Gourd
Gravy
Grouse
Handkerchief
Harpsicord
Heifer
Helmet
Hermit
Hot dish
Houndstooth
Hovercraft
Hydrant
Isoceles
Jackal
Jowls
Junction
Kaleidoscope
Kettle
Kielbasa
Kindling
Knoll
Kumquat
Ladel
Lard
Lariat
Laser
Leotard
Lichen
Licorice whip
Linoleum
Loaf
Lumberjack
Lynchpin
Lynx
Macaroon
Magenta
Magpie
Mahogany
Malamute
Mallard
Mallet
Mamba
Manhole
Marmot
Marrow
Marsh
Mascarpone
Mauve
Melon baller
Melon rind
Millet
Moat
Molotov cocktail
Monocle
Moonshine
Musket
Muzzle
Myrrh
Narwhal
Nectar
Newt
Nog
Nomad
Orb
Organ
Pajamas
Parallelogram
Parasol
Parentheses
Peat
Pelt
Peninsula
Perm
Pew
Pilgrim
Pinochle
Pipette
PJ
Placard
Plank
Plough
Podium
Polyp
Pontoon
Porridge
Pump
Pumpernickel
Punch
Punt
Quartz
Quicksand
Quill
Quiver
Radish
Receptacle
Rhubarb
Rickshaw
Riptide
Rotunda
Rudder
Rutabaga
Saloon
Satchel
Scepter
Scrunchie
Sea spray
Shank
Sheath
Sheepshank
Shuttlecock
Sickle
Sidewinder
Sill
Sky hook
Sleuth
Slobber
Slush
Smelt
Smock
Snifter
Snorkel
Spatula
Specimen
Spectacles
Spigot
Spindle
Spit valve
Spittoon
Spoiler
Spool
Spork
Spout
Stalk
Stogie
Studebaker
Styrofoam
Succotash
Tadpole
Talon
Tapioca
Tentacle
Thermos
Thimble
Thistle
Thorax
Tire chains
Toadstool
Toll booth
Torpedo
Trampoline
Trendril
Trident
Trinket
Tryptophan
Tube
Tugboat
Tumbler
Vat
Vestibule
Vortex
Wand
Wardrobe
Warrior
Whammy bar
Whittler
Wing nut
Wisk
Wreath

By Category:
Animals:
Albatross
Alpaca
Anemone
Boar
Boll weevil
Box elder bug
Burro
Buzzard
Chinchilla
Clydesdale
Fowl
Grouse
Heifer
Jackal
Lynx
Magpie
Malamute
Mallard
Mamba
Marmot
Narwhal
Newt
Sidewinder
Smelt
Tadpole

Clothing / Accessories:
Ascot
Blinders
Bloomers
Bolo
Cape
Chain mail
Cloak
Cummerbunds
Du rag
Galoshes
Goggles
Handkerchief
Helmet
Lariat
Leotard
Monocle
Pajamas
Parasol
Pelt
Satchel
Scrunchie
Smock
Snorkel
Spectacles

Foods:
Alfalfa
Bacon wrap
Bunt cake
Cobbler
Cornucopia
Dumpling
Flapjacks
Fricassee
Gravy
Hot dish
Kielbasa
Lard
Licorice whip
Loaf
Macaroon
Mascarpone
Melon rind
Moonshine
Porridge
Pumpernickel
Radish
Rhubarb
Succotash
Tapioca

Parts / Pieces of something:
Ball bearings
Barb
Chute
Coil
Crank
Filament
Fuse
Gasket
Lynchpin
Rudder
Spigot
Spindle
Spit valve
Spoiler
Spout
Tentacle
Trinket
Tube
Wing nut

Tools / Gadgets:
Abacus
Auger
Chassis
Contraption
Defibrillator
Ejector seat
Fly swatter
Generator
Kaleidoscope
Mallet
Muzzle
Pump
Quill
Spool
Thimble
Tire chains

Furniture:
Banister
Bidet
Bird bath
Box spring
Bureau
Davenport
Dumbwaiter
Pew
Placard
Podium
Sill
Spittoon
Trampoline
Wardrobe

Containers:
Canister
Canteen
Carafe
Cauldron
Goblet
Kettle
Quiver
Receptacle
Sheath
Snifter
Thermos
Tumbler

People / Profession:
Acrobat
Burglar
Cyborg
Ghoul
Hermit
Lumberjack
Nomad
Pilgrim
PJ
Sleuth
Warrior
Whittler

Plants:
Barnacle
Bramble
Bulbs
Gourd
Kumquat
Lichen
Peat
Polyp
Rutabaga
Stalk
Thistle
Toadstool

Vehicular terms:
Caboose
Catamaran
Dinghy
Dune buggy
Flume
Hovercraft
Plough
Rickshaw
Studebaker
Tugboat

Structures:
Condominium
Corridor
Dungeon
Fortress
Junction
Rotunda
Saloon
Toll booth
Vestibule

Weaponry:
Laser
Molotov cocktail
Musket
Scepter
Shank
Sickle
Torpedo
Trident
Wand

Body parts:
Bangs
Bone spur
Jowls
Marrow
Perm
Talon
Thorax
Trendril

Liquids:
Broth
Nectar
Nog
Punch
Sea spray
Slobber
Slush

Shapes / Symbols:
Ampersand
Double-u
Houndstooth
Isoceles
Orb
Parallelogram
Parentheses

Bodies of land:
Bog
Knoll
Marsh
Moat
Peninsula
Quicksand

Instruments:
Bagpipes
Bassoon
Fiddle
Harpsicord
Organ
Whammy bar

Scientific terms:
Asteroid
Formaldehyde
Pipette
Specimen
Tryptophan
Vortex

Utensils:
Ladel
Melon baller
Spatula
Spork
Wisk

Game / Sport terms:
Pinochle
Punt
Shuttlecock
Sky hook

Minerals / Jewels:
Alabaster
Amulet
Myrrh
Quartz

Nautical terms:
Buoy
Pontoon
Riptide
Sheepshank

Animal foods:
Cat nip
Chum
Millet

Man-made materials:
Celophane
Linoleum
Styrofoam

Things regarding wood:
Kindling
Mahogany
Plank

Amounts:
Dollop
Vat

Colors:
Magenta
Mauve

Decorations:
Doilie
Wreath

Things on a street / sidewalk:
Hydrant
Manhole

Things you put in / on your face / mouth:
Balm
Stogie

Overheard portions of phone conversations / Satchel

• "Sure I still dance. I dance all the time but I don't do that kind of dance."

• "I'm about 2 blocks away. I'll call you back when I'm outside your place."

• "What do you want? They don't have that. What? They don't have that either. Ham what? Ham sandwich? . . I'll call you back."

• ". . . and don't forget Pete Maravich. I mean that guy was fucking ridiculous."

• "I said Dad, not Brad. May I please speak to Dad?"

• "No. . . Yes. . . Why? . . Flaxseed. Just flaxseed, Jerry."

• "Ohhhhhh her tits?!?!?! I thought you were talking about my tits."

• "The kind with the little fuzzy ball on top. You know what I mean? . . Fuck it just get him a gift card."

• ". . . the biggest cod I've ever scene."

• "Have you checked behind the radiator? Well if he's not there he's probably dead."

• "It went well I think. I told them I was a go-getter so. . . "

• "I'm tired. I said I'm tired. Tired. Like I need a nap tired. Nevermind. I said nevermind."

• "Is Gwen going to be there? Because if she is we'll need more paper towels."

• "Tell that son-of-a-bitch trash day is on Thursday, not Friday so the boxes can't just sit there."

• "Probably Tron."

The parking ticket / Macaroon

It’s too late.
I’ve already started writing the ticket.
There’s no turning back now.
I can’t.
Because if I stop writing mid-ticket the paper catches fire. It made of a special polymer fiber that’s activated by lack of pen pressure.
No, I’m kidding.
But seriously, if I stop writing mid-ticket a red light starts blinking in my supervisor’s fancy corner window office and I get a check mark on his big board. Three check marks on the big board and the Department of Transportation demotes me to manually spell-checking ‘Yield’ signs. Not fun.
No, you’re right. Kidding again. Nothing gets by you.
Nope.
No erasers.
This here is a ballpoint pen. A Bic ultra.
I didn’t realize they still made erasable pens. I’ll mention it at the next meeting.
No, you’re right. I won’t.
We actually don’t have meetings.
Again, you got me.
For a guy unable to properly decipher the language on a simple parking sign you’re pretty sharp.
Good question. Allow me to address.
Moving your car now, while addressing the problem and adequately correcting the infraction, does not change the fact that I’ve already started writing the ticket.
No I will not look you in the eye.
Why not? Because I’m in the process of applying ink on paper and I cannot stop.
We’ve discussed this.
It goes beyond simple protocol, you know.
Stopping writing mid-ticket is dangerous.
Sort of like stopping peeing mid-stream.
I could damage my urinal tract.
Anyways I’m finished now.
So now it’s entirely too late because the ticket is finished and ready to be presented.
So even if I were able to stop writing a ticket after I’ve started, which I can by the way, it’s too late now because the ticket is finished, carbon copy and all.
So here you go.
Stay in school.

Prepared statement / Rudder

Good evening.

It is with a heavy heart and a shamed soul that I stand before you tonight. I'm neither proud of what I've done nor do I find my actions acceptable by any stretch of the means. With that said I'd like to take this opportunity to attempt to set the record straight, even if by doing so I sacrifice the dignity of myself and my family.
Fact is, I will carry with me the events of December 23rd for the rest of my days. Of that much I'm certain. All I can do is hope that my actions in the coming days, months, and years can help restore some of the faith and confidence that my peers once bestowed.

I realize that being a member of AcmeCorp Publishing is a privilege - a privilege that carries with it certain expectations and responsibilities. I've failed to live up to those expectations and have not fallen through on the responsibilities and for that I am deeply sorry.
But with this apology comes a realization that no man is infallible. We all make mistakes. I say this not as an excuse, but as a simple reminder and an appeal for forgiveness.

I hold no ill will toward Mr. Litchkin. In fact, until earlier today I'd never met, nor spoken to him. The email in question was one personal in nature and not intended for the audience it reached. I spoke to Gregory a few hours ago and expressed my regret and apologized profusely. We've come to a mutual understanding and I feel confident we can move forward in our relationship as professional colleagues.

On a personal note I implore you to give my family the space and respect that they deserve. They've done nothing wrong. They did not accidentally hit the 'reply all' button on Gregory Litchkin's farewell email. They did not state that they'd be surprised if more than two people showed up at O'Hallahans for drinks to see him off and wish him good luck on his future endeavors. They did not fail to understand how the process of retracting an email works and, as a desperate alternative, hastily unplug the computer and attempt to toss it out the window.

I did.

I will not be taking any questions.

Thank you and good night.

Flathand / Wreath

Flathand

from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Flathand is a game invented in 1987 by the children of Rick and Kathy Zeroth. The game's primary purpose is to pass time during boring church services, most notably lengthy sermons about herds of sheep and damnation, but can be played in almost any situation or environment providing that it's mundane in nature and the participating members all have at least one hand. The conventional method of play requires at least 2 players but solo competitions are possible pitting right hand against left hand. The rules of the game are as follows:

1. Attempt to make your hand as flat as possible.

2. Once you believe your hand is perfectly flat, try to make it even flatter.

3. Show your flathand to your brother sitting to your right.

4. Have your brother attempt to make his hand even flatter than your hand.

5. If he cannot, congratulations! You've just won flathand! Go back to step #1. If he's successful, proceed to step #6.

6. Have your brother show his flathand to your sister sitting on your left.

7. Have your sister attempt to make her hand even flatter than your brother's hand.

8. If she cannot, congratulations! Your brother has just won flathand! Go back to step #1. If she's successful, proceed to step #9.

9. Attempt to make your hand even flatter than your sister's hand.

10. If you cannot, congratulations! Your sister has just won flathand! Go back to step #1. If you're successful, repeat step #3.